The Divorce Letter

Dear husband,

I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was
the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a
new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new
pair of silk dress. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep
after watching all of your games. You don't tell me you love me
anymore; you don't want anything   that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your Ex-Wife.

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!





The Reply


Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman
is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because
they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't
work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st
thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my
mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice,
I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have
gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7
years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because
the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that
morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So
when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us
2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything
happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was
born as Carla (woman). I hope that's not a problem.


Cheers!   :)