Tuesday 6 September 2011

SIKH NAMES INDICATING PROFESSION / PASSION‏


Q: What do you call a Sikh who drinks only beer? A: JUSBEER SINGH.
 
Q: What do you call a Sikh guy who has only one drink
 A: JUST-ONE SINGH.
 Q: What do you call a Sikh scuba diver?
 A: JULL-UNDER SINGH.
 
Q: What do you call a better adapted Sikh diver?
 A: JULL-UNDER SINGH GILL.
 
Q: What do you call a bald Sikh guy ?
 A: BALD-EV SINGH.
 
Q: What do you call a Sikh boyfriend?
 A: HER PAL SINGH.
 
Q: Who is he who has many publications to his credit?
 A: JOURNAL SINGH.
 
Q: What do you call a Sikh guy running towards the enemy
     camp with a white flag in his hand?
 A: SURRENDER SINGH.
 
Q: What do you call a Sikh standing on one leg?
 A: BALAN SINGH
 
Q: What do you call a Sikh enjoying a walk in the park?
 A: RELAX SINGH
 
Q: What do you call Singh who drinks too much?
 A: Bho pinda Singh
 
Q: One haired Singh?
 A: Iqbal Singh
 
Q: Electrical Engineer
 A: Tara Singh
 Q: and his brother
 A: Cable Singh
 
Q: What do you call a Sikh at the bar?
 A: Bar-Tinder!
Q; What you call a Sikh who runs a bar/
A:Bar bill Singh.

Friday 2 September 2011

Ah Beng & His Jokes.....

Ah Beng bought a new mobile. 
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, 
'My Mobile No. Has changed. 
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610' 

==============================================

Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College . 
Friend: Really, what is he studying.. 
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him. 

==============================================
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night. 
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok. 
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game. 

==============================================
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry? 
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry? 
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister. 

============================================== 

Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD' 
Wife: How do you know?? 
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, 
Oh GOD! U have come again. 

============================================== 

Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing, 
except the TV in my house.' 
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?' 
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...' 

============================================== 

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine' He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.' 
============================================== 
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School? 
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board. 
============================================== 

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. 
So the man asked him why he did so.

He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it be would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot. 
============================================== 

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?' 

==============================================
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running? 
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup 
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running? 

============================================== 

Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail' 

============================================== 

Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!' 
Servant: 'It's already raining.' 
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go
.' 

==============================================
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning 
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM



A Village in Holland.With no roads AT ALL!


A Village in Holland wherein you can't find a single road...
All transportation is done by boats along the river.
But it's not a problem as it is so beautiful!
















Having the Internet means that we get to see something that we never imagined!


STRIPED ICEBERGS 

Icebergs in the Antarctic area sometimes have stripes, formed by layers of snow that react to different conditions. Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet fills up with melt water and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form. When an iceberg falls into the sea, a layer of salty seawater can freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a green stripe. Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up when the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea.These pictures are available because 2008 has been the coldest winter





 

.. Is this amazing?? 

Antarctica Frozen Wave Pixs - Nature is amazing!
The water froze the instant the wave broke through the ice.  
That's what it is like in Antarctica  where it is the coldest 
weather in decades. 

Water freezes the instant comes in contact with the air. 
  


The temperature of the water is already some degrees below 
freezing. Just look at how the wave froze in mid-air!!!
 










The two-foot teenager: Jyoti, the world's smallest girl set to make it big on British TV

Her tiny form is disarming. But Jyoti Amge's dreams are as big as those of her friends. At 15 she stands just 1ft 11½in tall and weighs less than a stone, giving her one very big claim to fame - as the smallest girl in the world. Doctors believe Jyoti is a pituitary dwarf but have never been able to pinpoint her condition. Such dwarfism is caused when the body fails to produce enough growth hormone. 



Jyoti, centre, with some of her classmates - also aged 15. Her little grey uniform is specially made for her Specialists have told her she will remain the same size for the rest of her life. 'When I was three I realised that I was different to the rest of the kids,' she said. 'I thought that everyone was bigger and I should get bigger too.' Jyoti has her own mini grey uniform and school bag and even a tiny desk. But she looks like a doll next to her teenage classmates. She said: 'I am proud of being the smallest girl. I love all the attention I get. I'm not scared of being small, and I don't regret being small. 


Jyoti, centre, is the world's smallest girl - but still attends school with her classmates, who she says don't treat her any differently



She works from her custom made chair and table but her pens and books are still rather too large for her 'I am sure there are many people in this world who are dwarfs like me. 'I'm just the same as other people. I eat like you, dream like you. I don't feel any different.' Weighing 12lb - only 9lb more than her weight at birth, Jyoti dreams of becoming an actress. Despite her size she insists on living as normal a life as possible in her home town of Nagpur in India - including going to the local school. 'When I first went to school everyone was so big I used to get scared but I'm okay now, I like it. I have a different desk and chair that were made for me. I'm a normal student.'


Jyoti with a family friend - who, at 13 months, is already bigger than she is 
She is also like any other teenage girl. 'I have a huge collection of dresses. I like to shop for more. Everyone in my family gets things for me. I love make-up and like dressing up like beautiful models. I would like to be an actress when I grow up. My dream is to do films.' Jyoti has already had a taste of fame in a pop video for Indian star Mika Singh. 'They asked her to appear in the video for a song on his album,' said her mother Ranjana Amge, 45. However, Jyoti's dreams of stardom could be ruined because of fractures to both her legs that have never healed because of problems with her size


Baby of the family: With sister Rupali, 18, Archana, 23, mother Ranjana Amge, 45,, father Kishan, 52, and brother Satish, 22 


Jyoti is taken to school on brother Satish's motorbike, along with sister Archana 
'First I could walk, but I slipped on ice during a holiday and hurt my leg. I find it strange that my legs just don't heal. I don't like it, it causes me pain.' 
Mrs Amge said: 'No-one knows why she is so small. Jyoti is small, yet cute, and we love her very much.' People in the region of India where the family live flock to see the teenager and some even treat her as a goddess. She receives a lot of support from her brother and two sisters. Oldest sister Archana, 25, said: 'I have been taking care of her since she was a small baby. She is so delicate and fragile.' 
During her first five years of life, brave Jyoti was in and out of hospital as she constantly fell sick, but eventually she grew stronger. The teenager's father Kishan Amge, 52, a construction worker, said: 'She makes me proud. Lots of saints and spiritual gurus come to see and bless her. They pray for her happiness and long life.'







Friday 19 August 2011

A New Drink


A guy walks into a bar, says to the bartender “gimme a Bin Laden”

.Bartender says “what’s that?”
.
Guy says “two shots and a splash of water”.

To Non-Alcoholic Drinkers , Beware !!!


To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. And those who don't and are always Seen with a bottle of water in their hand.

As Ben Franklin said:
 
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials,
 
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, At the end of the year we would have absorbed More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli,
(E. Coli) - bacteria 
 Found in feces.
 
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However,
 
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of Shit
..